Bed Time

My bed has been one of my favorite spots since being a mother and especially in the past few weeks, and not for the reasons you might think. Not because the tastes of fall have brought cooler nighttime temperatures which has made it colder in the house and much more desirable to snuggle up under the covers. Not because of the times at night when my mind wanders too far or in the morning when I have to face another day, and grief wants to keep me hidden there. Not because I just entered the third trimester and my body is tired from the end of a full day. But, what I really love about my bed right now – it’s where our best family time happens. It’s where we put on Adele’s ‘jommies’ after bath time and where she pillow dives, does somersaults, and jumps off into Daddy’s arms. It’s where we Facetime family before she goes to bed. And it’s the place we get to interact with and feel Arthur the most. Our nightly routine is so sweet. I feel him move throughout the day, but this is our special time, just him and us, after his busy sister is down for the night. My feet are elevated, pillows all in their proper place, and I can lay there, watching and feeling him move. The moment I get settled into bed, he starts his play. I don’t believe his position has changed much since the last ultrasound because he likes to send me to the bathroom about 3 times before I actually fall sleep. He usually continues this game through the night, and the interrupted sleep makes me never want to leave my bed in the morning – ha! But how can I go back to sleep when my time with him might be so short? He is so alive. I cherish those bedtime acrobatics, the nighttime bathroom trips, and the mornings I lay there for a while just feeling him move. It’s a good tired that I won’t wish away.⚓

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Thanks to some friends, I have a once a week morning time to myself. This past week, Arthur and I had some alone time at Panera, in one of the cozy chairs with some decaf.

 

3 thoughts on “Bed Time

  1. Ellen Aebig says:

    Kittery , I have been reading your blogs but did not know what words to use, to express my thoughts. You are an amazing woman. I am enamored by your amazing gift to live and feel life. I have no words that can convey how I admire you and Art for sharing this special time with all of us. That is a gift very few people can share.

    I still don’t have the words but to let you know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

    Love,
    Ellen

    Like

  2. Sheryl Heinicka says:

    Kittery,

    I work with you Aunt Stacy, so I have been following your blog through her. My daughter was expecting a daughter in December, but lost the baby at 20 months. My thoughts and prayers have been with you since I first read about your family and little Arthur. God will give you the grace to get through this. He has already provided your support system and has ensured you have a faith that will sustain you. During those black days, remember that he holds you in the palm of His hand and that He will never forsake you. One day you will hold a healthy and whole Arthur in your arms. I am convinced of that. Until then, you will have to move through life missing him, but with him in your heart. Take pictures. Dress him and keep those keepsakes to take out when you need to feel close to him. Words will never convey the feelings you have for your child and words will never convey all of the love and support that surround your family as you continue to love your child.

    Like

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