2015

As the clock struck midnight, taking us from 2015 to 2016, I spent it probably like most parents of young children would. Asleep. Rest, recovery, and relaxation have marked my holiday season, and it’s what I’ve needed.

I don’t know about you – maybe you are ready to put 2015 behind you, hoping for better things for the coming year. Or maybe the past year was full of mostly happy things launching you confidently into 2016. I’m not entirely sure how to think on either, both looking back and looking forward. I look back with mixed feelings, probably because I felt the whole gamut of feelings one could feel and I can’t sum it up in a concise way.

2015 didn’t go as I had planned.

In 2015, I buried a child.

2015 brought more tears than I’ve ever cried before.

In 2015, the rubber met the road in regards to my beliefs about God.

In 2015, the Bible came alive to me – words leaping off the page and touching untapped places in heart.

In 2015, I experienced the Church being what the Church is meant to be to a member in need.

2015 made me long for intimate presence with God and for eternity more than I ever have.

In 2015, I delighted much in my daughter.

In 2015, my love for my husband deepened and intensified.

In 2015 I chose life.

In 2015, I experienced joy in the deepest sorrow.

2015 brought me hope.

2015 was full. It was the year of this special boy who turned our world upside down and took a piece of our hearts with him. Part of me doesn’t want time to move on, because I will move farther away from the time we had with Arthur. But the past few days, part of me is ready to move forward, because each day, each month, each year will be another one closer to seeing him again. It’s a paradox really. While I move farther away from him, I move closer to him and the arms of my Heavenly Father.

As I think on God’s goodness in the hardest time of my life so far, it gives me hope for whatever 2016 will bring. Maybe it will be lots of physical blessings, health and happiness. 2016 might hold more hard things ahead. I only have the capacity to think a day at a time right now, but as I let my mind ponder the uncertainty of what might come ahead, I know this and it gives me a confident hope: Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever (Hebrews 13:8). Whether the year brings blessings or troubles, He is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble, and he knows those who take refuge in him (Nahum 1:7).

1K0A9803

Photo by Faith Massey

One thought on “2015

  1. Jeri Muhich says:

    Your posts always make me weepy! You touch my heart deeply every time you post. 2016 will be a great year for you I know. Why? Because you are surviving the worst thing that can happen to a woman, and you are developing into an even more incredible person because of it.

    ❤ Andy's Mom

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s